Monday, July 27, 2009

Annie Coulter Gets It

Here's Ann calling out the "Birthers" for the morons that they are.

If you ask me, the Boondocks' impression of Ann is not too far from the truth.

Make no mistake. If there was big money to be made off catering to these birther ass-clowns, Ann would be on it like stink on a hunk of shit.

What you just saw in that video is Annie realizing this birther crap has spun out of control and is starting to make conservatives look bad. So it's time to cut them loose and walk away.

Wind bags like Hannity and Limbaugh have already sunk themselves into this too deep. They can't walk it back without looking like grade-A hypocrites (though these guys never had a problem with looking like hypocrites, so we'll see).

Don't think this isn't starting to become a problem for conservatives and the GOP? Take a look at this video and see for yourself.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Do you have what it takes to be a "Birther"

Do you have what it takes to be one of these people?

That's Alan Keyes (who has the pleasure of sharing the same company as Hillary Clinton and John McCain in that they all lost to Obama in political contest) and Orly Taitz (who got her law degree from an online university) proving that batshit insanity obviously knows no race or gender.

So you're probably asking yourself, "How can I be as batshit as these two?". Well there are several things to do. Each one requiring you to either have an over inflation of your ego or completely divorce yourself from reality by believing Obama's parents/grandparents has the greatest gift of clairvoyancy even seen in humans.

1) You have to believe you're so much smarter than the conservative groups who spent millions or dollars trying to find any kind of dirt on Obama during the campaign.

2) You have to believe that the Dunhams' and the Obamas' knew Barack Jr. was gonna run for president someday in some insane clairvoyance only found in gypsy fortune tellers.

3) You have to believe the Dunhams' and the Obamas' has enough influence in Hawaii to pull off this amazing coup.

4) you have to believe WorldNetDaily (who has admitted the birth certificate was authentic) is not a far right web blog site but a liberal one.

5) You have to be able to look directly at an orange and, with a straight face, say it's an avocado.

Follow those simple steps and you'll be on your way to being a batshit insane "birther" before you know it.

Friday, July 17, 2009

The Constipated White People of America

Listening to Pat Buchanan, and others like him lately, all I can think about is these people suffering from a serious case of constipation.

No, seriously.

Have you ever been constipated?
Have you ever gone 3 or more days without a bowel movement?

Chances are everyone has. And it's never a good feeling. You can't eat properly. You can't sleep properly. You body doesn't function properly. Your clothes don't fit properly. You just pretty much feel like you're gonna explode and all you want is relief.

Now imagine you've been constipated since.....oh let's say....January 20, 2009. Hell, you might even say as long as November 4, 2008. Imagine what type of agony these people are going through.

I've pretty much just described every racist white person in America.

And what made them constipated, you ask?

A black man named BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA is President of the United States of America.

Obama and his black family sitting in the WHITE house destroys everything these people ever believed to be true about themselves and others.

It has literally made them constipated and every time they think they're about to get relief, they see Obama's black face on TV, in the magazine shelves at the grocery store, somewhere on the street, and their sphincters just tighten back up. It's like torture.

So with all that crap built up and driving them insane, the only way it can come out is through uncontrollable and spastastic burst which, while providing some relief, usually ends with the person having crapped all over themselves.

Put it to you like this. Do you really think the kiddies in FREEPERSville didn't know in the back of their minds throw racist, hateful slurs at Malia Obama, an 11 year old girl, wasn't making them look like huge assholes? Of course they knew, but at that moment all that were going through their mind was "I NEED RELIEF!!!!!!"

This is why you're seeing the racism towards Obama and his family literally come out in explosive blurts and stream (not unlike diarrhea). It comes out in a way that you can't even try to hide that it's racist. It's far too blatant and far too sloppy.

I use this far out analogy to make this point. Whenever you see or hear someone like Buchanan, or Hannity, or Limbaugh make huge assholes out of themselves, just think about the pain and misery they're going and know the dumps they're taking always end up making them look like shit.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

I'm surprise it took this long.

Shortly after Obama won the election, I posted a set of rules for RWWB (Right Wing Wind Bags). 8 of them to be exact.

Naturally they broke every single one, but the ones I want to focus on are Rule 3 since this one was broken very recently:

Rule #3. Malia and Sasha Obama are totally off limits. Period. End of Discussion.

Even I didn't think they could break this rule with as much racial vile as they did. It's as if they asked themselves "how low can we go with trashing an 11 year old girl"?

Obviously, this low.

It's obvious that some people are still constipated over the fact that a black man named BARACK HUSSEIN OBAMA is the President of the United States of America and they want to trash him badly. But it's really hard to do so without looking like racist douchebags. To me it looks like a lot of them have stopped hiding their racist contempt, which I personally find refreshing.

But how much of a soulless bloated turd do you have to be to aim that racial vitriol at Malia, again an 11 year old girl (can't say that enough)?

The best way to describe it is that these constipated bastards overdosed on the milk of magnesia and the explosion of shit was uncontrollable.